Today I woke up in an uncharacteristically positive mood. The first thing I look at this morning is FIND’s Independent Spirit Awards Nominations, which got me excited for the films that I really enjoyed and also gave me a list of films to see in the next few months. The delectation was depressingly short lived, though, because one mercilessly rude awakening was only a click away. (Check the link only if you’re immune to that panicky feeling of watching your childhood heroes refuse to keep sacred the last shred of dignity they had!!) Billy “Rebel Yell” Idol is the new David “Hooked on a Feelin” Hasselhoff? Can’t wait to drunkenly sway to this at my next family Christmas gathering! Hmmm.

Then I found out that the old bags at TV Land have come up with what they consider the 100 Greatest Catchphrases. They really should have left it at 50 greatest, because they really seem to be stretching it with some. It almost appears as though they came up with 70 good ones and then panicked and hastily flipped through television and scribbled down the first remotely catchy thing. How is “Holy crap!” more recognizable than “We were on a break?!?” And when you think of the Brady Bunch, does your mind go first to “Oh, my nose.” or “Marcia, Marcia, Marcia!”? Or are you lucky enough that you don’t think of the Brady clan in the first place?

And then I saw this. It makes me feel a little better about my shortcomings, and that’s all I need.

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