You guys! I couldn’t make you a film festival mix for Santa Barbara, because I didn’t listen to any music at all on this trip because I just had a radical new procedure on my ears to improve my hearing 1000x because that (superhuman hearing) is the only thing keeping me from being 100% perfect. It went really well, thanks. But because of this, my ears were bandaged up, so you get photos I took on my iPhone, because what else am I going to use it for? Certainly not talking to people! Moving on!

I attended the fest for the American Riviera Awards, with this year’s recipient being Sandra Bullock. She was actually really entertaining. Did you know that she grew up in Germany and her mom was an opera singer? (Maybe you did.) Fun anyway! Plus, there were clips shows, which I love – so much, in fact, that if you know me in real life well enough to come to my wedding, you can expect, at minimum, three clip shows. Anyway, it was at the Lobero Theater, which is so adorable I would live there if they let me.’


If you go to the Lobero Theater and get a seat under the balcony (like I did), specifically because you are expecting and handsome young foreigner to come out and serenade you and your bandaged ears (like I did), you’d be mistaken. Apparently no one here thought of this and what a great idea that would be. All I’m saying is don’t get your hopes up (like I did).

Some guy named James Cameron was also receiving an award.

I laughed and laughed at this picture. “Listen, friend Colin Firth, we are very proud of you for winning an award at the SBFF, but instead of saying that, we’re going to just put our names and you can be satisfied with people knowing that you are our friend. Hanx”

The end.

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