SAGIndie

I opened the Market registration bag yesterday and was shocked to discover that HBO Documentaries had included a light-up pen that is almost identical to the World Famous SAGIndie Light-up Screening Pen that we have been giving away for almost ten years!

Now, I think that our pen, with its retro torpedo shaped end cap and double-sided printing, is much cooler looking… but for all intents and purposes it’s the same freaking pen!

In all honestly, HBO has done light-up pens before… but they’ve always sucked. The last version I saw had multi-colored, flashing disco lights, which is fine if you’re rolling, but the point of our pens is to give filmmakers the ability to take notes in a darkened theatre. When we switched from admittedly distracting clear lights to the cool blue a few years ago, we did it after a lot of intensive, scientific research (okay… I locked the staff in a closet with various colored pens and had them write essays on why I should let them out).

It just bugs me that HBO, which has more money than God, had to start giving away a pen that is almost exactly like ours. The cable network prides itself on creating cutting-edge series and documentaries, but can’t come up with it’s own damn giveaway?

I was a little vindicated at the opening night party (more on this later), when I met a film music composer who told me that she thought our pen was much cooler than the HBO pen. In fact, she mentioned that earlier she had saved someone’s life with our pen… and that she’d heard a rumor that someone had been killed by the HBO pen.

As for the opening night movie, A Guide to Recognizing Your Saints, I wasn’t impressed. It just felt like a movie I’d seen many times before and I never really engaged with any of the characters.

I had just finished my first cocktail at the party when I got a frantic text from my girlfriend informing me that the pipes in the unit above ours burst and had entirely flooded our condo. I left the party to contact the HOA, insurance company, and dog-sitter and spent it wishing I was blissfully drinking myself into a stupor.

I have to check with the airline, but I may have to head back to Los Angeles early to deal with this disaster. It sucks and I’m pretty sure the government had something to do with it.

George Bush doesn’t care about filmmakers.

"New Guy" here.  That’s right.  I’m finally blogging.  So whatch yerselves all you LA-based whipper-snappers! Brooklyn’s in the houuuuuuuse!!

I registered for the IFP Market here yesterday and immediately bumped in to a number of my pals from Tribeca Film Festival where I work on a freelance basis as a Filmmaker Coordinator.  A few were registering and taking part in the first meetings and panels of the Market.  The informal drinks and band at night was filled mainly with filmmakers and was a nice, mellow way to start things off.  Tonight is the true opening night featuring "A Guide to Recognizing Your Saints" which I’m looking forward to, followed by a partaaaay.

Unfortunately I didn’t see our illustrious leader Obermeisterfuhrer Bales there last night.  I can only assume he was already out wandering the streets of Red Hook looking for tail.  Little does he know, NYC ain’t what it used to be.

Just so’s you know: I’m also working freelance production on the Clinton Global Initiative in Midtown this week.  So if I suddenly start referring to Al Gore, Shimon Perez, the Emir of Qatar, Sumner Redstone, Condeleeza Rice or any other politico-power-broker-rulers-of-the-globe types here I apologize ahead of time.  Things might get kinda confusing.

I don’t know if they’re national or just in Los Angeles, but The Learning Annex, an adult learning program, asked me to speak at one of their courses on Saturday.

I had hoped that it was going to be the How to Strip for your Lover class (my pole work is really amazing), but it turns out it was a film production course for people interested in learning how to produce their own movies.

I didn’t know what to expect, but the turn out was great. They actually suckered… uh… convinced over 100 people to pay to listen to me speak. I’ve spoken on free panels where there more panelists than audience members, so this was pretty impressive. Plus, most of the time I’m the one that has to pay to get people to listen to me.

Now I’m in New York for the IFP Market. The opening night film and party (usually a blow out) are this evening, so I’ll have more to report tomorrow.

But not before noon…

Alert Merriam-Webster, Rupert Murdoch has this to add to our lexicon!

Since Eliza was so nice as to give all film students (and Hollywood at large) such great advice, I thought I’d give my own bit of filmmaker help by giving some ideas of films that I think SHOULD be made.

Therefore, here are:  FILMS I’D LIKE TO SEE

1.   A movie where the gorgeous blonde girl gets killed in the first 10 mins.  (it’s a Black thing, and it’s about time.)

2.   A couple who meet cute, fall out ugly, and stay out.

3.   A movie where Betty White gets to bed Josh Hartnett (or the age equivalents) and nobody thinks anything of it.

4.   Ryan Gosling in SHORT BUS 2

5.   A movie where all the teen queens are sent to the Planet Pluto - THEN downgrading it to a mini-planet (or whatever it is) , but forgetting to bring the girls back.  O.K., that’s more of a production note.

6.   The film version of Dancing With The Stars.  Oh, the drama!

7.   Anne Heche’s new television show.  It just seems a more natural outlet.

O.K., filmies, get crackin’!  I’ve given you GEMS here, people, GEMS!!!  And I’ll only charge 5% for any sales you make using my ideas.

After summer’s disappointing showing in the theaters (about as intellectually stimulating as spending an afternoon with a muppet) it’s time to start the completely pointless debates about what is a must see versus a must avoid for the fall season! The first noms can be found at Bill Gibron’s Pop Matters Fall Preview. So read it, enjoy it and then passive-aggressivly mumble to yourself about how Shortbus really should be in the "Must See" category.

I’d post my picks, but I just got an e-mail of "extreem urgentsy" from the Prince of Nigeria himself! See you later, suckers!

PS: An interesting view on Netflix and whether or not it’s really benefitting indie filmmakers.

After countless phone calls of students pitching their ideas, I have a plea to all you student filmmakers:

Don’t make your films about a student filmmaker making a film. This is probably the worst idea you could dedicate to celluloid. I know that sounds quite harsh, for it’s for your (and everyone else’s) own good. I can tell you this, because I…well, I made such a mistake. I know it’s hard to believe, but it’s true. And not only did I try that (and failed miserably, as you will too), but I also shot it all in my bare white-walled apartment and cast my boyfriend, two sins so frightening, so…so amateur that all copies of said film, with a nauseating overuse of a certain Air Supply song, were immediately destroyed. Learn from my mistakes, student filmmakers, and while you’re at it, please refrain from all use of bar scenes, "hip, young 20-somethings", cigarettes, drug use, suicide, alcoholism, poop jokes, Fight Club/Tarantino rip offs (let it go!), montages of people falling in love (why does it always involve tickling?) and relationship drama modeled after the nasty break up you had with that girl or guy who totally didn’t appreciate your mix cds (they’ll be much sorrier they left you for that other guy or girl if you make a good film). I know that’s a lot to avoid, but when you clear away all the overused crap, what you have left is more likely to make a decent student film. Just saying.

While we’re at it, maybe I’ll just extend this plea to Hollywood in general.

Not that I need to impress him, but my boss Paul "Blog or You’re Fired!" Bales is really pushing for insightful (any) updates and I’d really like to avoid getting fired right now, as I have recently been screwed out of the equivalent of two months rent by your stupid city’s DMV and my first choice in employment has suffered an unfortunate incident that makes me grateful to sit here in my poowater-free swivel chair. And really, who am I to turn down the chance to wax philosophical on the most far reaching (Hi, Mom) of all public forums that I have access to.

Truth is, it’s been relatively quiet around here lately (aside from my recent mini-triumph of being granted permission to fire Scott if I so choose.) I didn’t go to Toronto (how many years in a row can my invitation get lost in the mail? Damn postal service!) but there are probably one or two other people writing about that anyway. In addition to that, there’s an embarassing lack of any substance present in the local movie theaters. (Not to say I didn’t see Beerfest. What can I say? Guilty pleasure.*) However, things will be picking up in the next couple weeks, with the approaching IFP Market in NYC (to be attended by Paul, DMG and that new guy that Scott and I are totally not jealous of) and LA’s own Latino International Film Festival, so you can look forward to some really insightful posts by yours truly as soon as I recover from the inevitable hangover.

What’s that you say? Filler? I hardly know her!

*Ok, so it’s really not a guilty pleasure. I’m not guilty. I did just think of my most shameful of all secret shames and I am so embarrassed right now that I could just die!

It’s Friday and 10 days into the festival and I realized I have not reported much on the films here.  They screen films here, some are good, some are bad, and some you just don’t know what the hell they are about and how did they get into a festival. Enough about the films,  last night was the SAGIndie Student Party and we had a hell of a good time!!  Thanks Paul!!  Armand prepared a beautiful spread of appetizers and decorated the apartment beautifully.  Pizza from our neighborhood pizzeria was quickly eaten and then the serious drinking began.  Beer and wine flowed freely and then it happen!!  Someone opened the bottle of Grappa and poured!!  That is when all hell broke loose and the dancing began.  The dancing led to singing and while I did not have a Karaoke show down with Sophia Loren, we did manage to have a sing off with three very lovely Italian women from across the canal. 

They would sing some lovely Italian ballad to which we would very loudly respond with "I LOVE ROCK AND ROLL!!!" or some other equally obnoxious and loud song.  People in boats floated by and stopped to see what the crazy Americans were up to!!  Then when Lindsey, and David, and Merril, and Stanley, and Anne, and Justin, and Ethan, and Emilio showed up it became a real SAGIndie party.  OK they may not have actually showed up but with the Grappa flowing we all thought we saw them in room!  It was a great party and with the exception of "the accident" everyone survived!!

Just kidding, there was really no accident and everyone showed up for breakfast this morning, looking like crap, but alive and well, ready to view more films, this is a film festival after all, and we are all filmmakers, we do watch films you know!!

Walter Harris - Director Student Programs - The American Pavilion.

It’s Thursday, September 7th, and I have officially declared today SAGIndie Day at the Venice Biennial.  The day will be spent spreading the good news of SAGIndie and culminate with the SAGIndie Venice Intensive Student party.  The day was started with breakfast at the official venue for the Venice Intensive Student Breakfasts. We followed breakfast with a parade through the streets of Venice with the SAGIndie Banner prominently displayed, stopping along the way for photo ops. Most of the parade was also captured on video.  The parade made its way through Venice, over the Rialto bridge, through the narrow, shop filled cobblestone streets, to the Plaza at San Marco where pigeons soar dangerously close to everyone’s heads, and over to the Vaporetta Stop.  A quick trip across the water and we arrive on the Lido to continue the parade. 

After pleading with no avail to the Italian police we were forced to continue the parade on the outside of the red carpet area of the Sala Grand, past the graffiti covered barricade to the Excelsior hotel terrace where we were met with cheers by all the industry power players including David Lynch and Justin Theroux of Inland Empire, David’s entry into the Festival.  It was a grand parade!!

Walter Harris - Director, Student Programs, The American Pavilion