SAGIndie

Sono in Italia adesso. Roma è una bella città. Ci sono molti arboli, monumenti, e musei. Mi la piace molto.

Sorry… the only time I’m brave enough to use Italian is when I’ve had a drink (why is it that most of my posts involve alcohol?). Rome really is nice. I don’t know what I was expecting, but I didn’t expect to like the city as much as I do. The people are nice (except for the waiters… I guess, as in France, when you don’t work for tips you don’t have any incentive to be nice. Viva il capitalismo!), the food is great, and it’s cool to see the sites from some of my favorite Italian films (I promised to keep this blog on topic didn’t I?); Otto e mezzo, La Dolce Vita, L’Ora di Religione, and, in my opinion, one of the best films from last year (from any country), La Meglio gioventù.

Tomorrow I’m going to visit the mountain village of my maternal grandparents. There I hope to meet my new Italian wife, who will later be blown up in a car bomb. I will then return to the States to take over as head of the SAGIndie family.

Or maybe I’ll just get drunk again.

Arrivaderci!

It’s 3:00 in the afternoon and I started my day only a couple of hours ago.

Last night was the 2^nd Annual SAGIndie Karaoke Night at the American Pavilion hosted by Michael Badalucco (The Practice, O Brother Where Art Thou?).

We did this event last year and I was almost positive it was going to be a bust. I was surprised to find out that college kids really love karaoke and last year’s party practically blew the roof off the tent.

This year’s was even better. The crowd was bigger, drunker (I might have to take some of the blame for that),   and more into the audience participation aspects of karaoke. Co-Host Walter Harris (one of the student mentors) kept things moving along, from Becca and Jody’s (the Business Center Manager) rendition of Pat Benatar’s “Hit Me With Your Best Shot,” to the boys’ interpretation of “Y.M.C.A.”

As I watched everyone perform I realized that I couldn’t come up with the minimum number of drinks that I would have to ingest before someone could get me up there to sing. I also realized by the end of the night that I probably came pretty close to that number. I started the evening with scotch, moved on to vodka, and by the time the party moved over to an Irish Pub down the street, Guinness. At one point I sat there with a pint in one hand, an unfiltered French cigarette in the other and realized that there was no way this evening was going to get any better… and was very close to getting worse. So I walked home and made the rookie mistake of going to sleep drunk. The next thing I remember was waking up with a terrible hangover thirty minutes before I was supposed to meet Ellery and Becca to pack everything up to ship back home. As we sat in the Pavilion nursing our free market coffee I had to ask myself why I gave Darrien the day off when she was the only one who didn’t get wasted last night…

I think our participation at Cannes was very successful… a visit to WireImage makes it look as though practically everything that took place here was sponsored by SAGIndie. We’re nothing if not publicity-whores.

A final thanks to everyone who helped out; Darrien, Rene, the American Pavilion Staff and Students, all the industry professionals, and the people of Cannes.

Oh… and a special thanks to the gals (I hope they’re girls anyway) who participate in all the Benjamin McKenzie Fan Sites/Bulletin Boards. Thanks for all the kind words and for assuring me that you aren’t crazed Ben stalkers… or at least that you’re aware of your own crazed Ben stalkerness.

This will be my final post from Cannes, as I assume Darrien will be taking her computer home with her. I will be in Italy on vacation next week and will try to do at least one post if I can find an Internet café.

A presto!

That’s right, it’s my…….uh…? anniversary of my 21st birthday, and it has again fallen on the date of the Annual SAGIndie Karaoke Night in Cannes.  But I don’t sing, can’t sing, don’t think it’s right to do to others, and yet Paul seems intent on making me sing.  You’d think he’d try to be nice to me for my birthday, but no.  First, he called me a skank on his blog (don’t bother reading it, he’s not that funny), now he wants me to humiliate myself and possibly hurt others with the sound of my voice.  Mean, mean man.

     As for Morgan Freeman, I have to say that I totally agree with his anti-piracy thing.  I mean, look at all the yachts, etc. that are here in Cannes.   Despite that one guy who seems to have lost his dinghy, these are really nice boats.  I mean, PEOPLE SHOULD BE ABLE TO SAIL HERE WITH THEIR NICE STUFF AND NOT WORRY ABOUT ONE-EYED GUYS WITH PEG LEGS RIPPING THEM OFF!!!  What?…..Not that kind of piracy?………never mind.

   Anyhow, it’s the last real day of work here and I’m ecstatic.  It’s been a long, hard two weeks and I’m tired.  Tomorrow, Paul thinks I’m helping him pack up stuff to ship home (right, be right there).  I plan to go to the beach, then home to pack.  Saturday morning, I’m headed to the airport and on to a long a$$ flight (12 hours in all) back to Los Angeles.  As long as the movies are decent, the food remotely edible, and I’m able to sleep during the flight, I might survive this journey.  All in all, it wasn’t bad.  Despite the torrents of rain that fell, the weather was sometimes nice, the people often nice, and I hear that they show movies somewhere.  I’ll have to check that out next year.   Au Revior.  (that’s French for "I’m Audi")

As happy as I am that people are becoming aware of our blog, I’m more than a little frightened that the fans of “The OC” have started posting material from our site as if it was actually news and actually accurate. The clearly did not read the disclaimer.

So, I’d like to clear up a few things about Benjamin McKenzie and our Round Table Discussion yesterday:

1. I did not ask Benjamin whether he wears boxers or briefs. He is a professional actor and I am a world-renowned astrophysicist. I would never ask such a personal and invasive question. Besides, we were both at the Dreamworks/Nickelodeon Orgy the other night and I know that he wears the same thing I do.
2. I didn’t ask him what he wore to bed, he didn’t refuse to answer, and I didn’t give him a shot to the head. Darrien was just making a joke… cuz she’s, like, totally jealous that I got to sit next to Ben, and, like, he totally likes me better than her cuz I rule and she’s just a skank.
3. That wasn’t really a bottle of Stella Artois (le booze officiel of the festival de Cannes) that Ben was drinking at the SAGIndie Barbecue. It was really our own mixture of Red Bull,* Ketamine, Ephedra, psilocybin, and pesto sauce.
4. Pell James and Ben are not an item. They met for the first time at our Barbecue, and although they got along very well, they left separately and didn’t even exchange numbers. Ben did, however, hook up with our publicist Rene, Catherine Deneuve, and several of the Troma Girls. And Pell and I were married yesterday in a private ceremony in Monaco.
5. Ben didn’t reveal to me who his “OC” character was going to sleep with next. I’ve actually read bootleg copies of next season’s scripts (that I downloaded using Morgan Freeman’s new anti-piracy technology), so I already knew that Ryan is going to have a hot, illicit affair with Republican Congressman Rick Santorum.
6. Almost everything we write on this blog is either an outright lie or, at the very least, should never be taken too seriously. Except this:
7. I met Benjamin McKenzie for the first time two days ago and was blown away by how intelligent, funny, unpretentious, and generous he is. I interview quite a few celebrities and never know if they’ll be as interesting and engaging as they seem. The Round Table with Ben was one of the easiest sessions I’ve ever done. Even though he’s relatively new to the business, he has a lot to share and is one of the smartest, most business-savvy actors I’ve met. He’s also a genuinely nice guy.

*My friend Rick and I discovered that Red Bull is illegal in France (We were searching for absinthe, which we found out is now also illegal here now. Our waitress at my favorite restaurant in Cannes suggested that we go to Spain). As Rick pointed out, “This country allows fourteen year-olds to drive their Vespas on the sidewalks at three in the morning with open bottles of wine, but they have a problem with the caffeine content of Red Bull?”

So, we went to the “Sin City” party last night. It was one of those exclusive, buzz-worthy events that people were dying to get in to. That should have been my tip-off. The venue was really cool but there weren’t that many people there, no one was dancing, the sushi (which I didn’t try… fish have faces… but it was reported to me) was rubbery, and they started running out of booze two hours into the party. I guess the highlight was when George Lucas walked in. I wanted to approach him and ask him if he got any satisfaction out of the fact that it took him six films to ruin his franchise, but it only took the Wachowski Brothers three to ruin theirs… but by that time they had already run out of Scotch and I wasn’t drunk enough to be thrown into the street…

The good news is that the rain has stopped for the day – though who knows what the next hour might bring.  Right now, however, the sky is blue, the water is aqua, and Paul’s eyes are …. bloodshot red.  Yesterday’s downpour really dampered (boo) our spirits.  But today is a new day, and it’s been a full one so far!

     The day started with our first roundtable – a pitch- cancelling on us.  Of course, he emailed at 3am to say that he wouldn’t make the 9am.  We, of course, didn’t find out until we got our butts up and made it to work at 8am.  So I filled in and took pitches – something I haven’t done since my executive days.  The ability to belittle, cut off, and destroy others’ dreams came back quickly.  I have to say that the first pitch was a hit, the others less so.  I actually have a little jones on to get back into the development game – or to join a S&M club, whichever.

     We had two highlights of the day.  First, Morgan Freeman, came through to do an interview with Roger Ebert, about his career.  It was great to hear about his career, and he also spoke of an anti-piracy venture he’s entering.  Despite that infomercial, he came back on topic when the audience asked him questions.  As you can see, that Morgan sure has attitude.

    After that, O.C. heartthrob Ben McKenzie came back by popular demand and did a roundtable.  He spoke on how a successful TV actor makes the transition to film……… and who his character will sleep with next on the show.  All aspects of his life proved really interesting, including the issue of boxers vs. briefs (wouldn’t you like to know?!).    The fact is, when Paul Bales is your moderator, these are the kinds of questions that get asked.  I expect 60 mins to steal him away any minute.  Things were going fine until Paul asked him what he wore to bed.  When Ben refused to answer the question, Paul’s reaction was a swift and violent shot to the head. We’re holding our breath to see if the lawyers call on Monday.  If so, we deny, deny, deny so mum’s the word.

   Last, I forgot to mention that I’ve now had the one Cannes experience I’ve always wanted.  I just wanted to go to a party on a yacht.  Not as easy as it sounds, unless you are someone (and I’m clearly only a legend in my own mind).  This party was for L.A. Film Festival and was a lovely soiree.  But the real highlight was that the dinghy (it was huge, but I’m so above it all now) was next to a yacht that was hosting a party for, shall we say, ladies in the Valley film industry (read: porn).  There was a huge poster on dock with the ladies in various poses (none should be seen by children).  The real show was watching the girls work the party.  Adorned in outfits of gold lame and leopard print, they schmoozed and simpered for a bevvy of cigar-smoking, usually heavy-set men.  I could tell that Paul LONGED to be over there, instead of with us and the civilized festival folk.  I did run into Ryan Enslinger who is the only American invited to a film program by the Cinefondation.  He has a script with Sharon Stone attached.  I’m staying his friend just so I can hear the set stories.  Well, the sun is still shining, so I’ve got to go.  Maybe para-sailing, maybe I’ll allow myself to be dragged through the water in an innertube by a speedboat, or maybe I’ll just stretch out in the sun and dream of the good ol’ days in L.A. and the 405 traffic. 

I’m sitting in the American Pavilion during a torrential rain storm. It’s rained several days since we’ve been here. I feel like I’m back in Los Angeles.

Despite the weather I’m very glad to be here and grateful to all of the industry people who have donated their time to speak to the students. Yesterday, film director Stephen Frears braved the rain and freezing winds to share his experiences on such films as Dirty Pretty Things, High Fidelity, and Dangerous Liaisons.

And today, actors Benjamin McKenzie (The OC, Junebug) and Pell James (Broken Flowers, The King) hosted the 3rd Annual All-American Barbecue at the SAGIndie Student Union.

It was fun to watch all of the female students put on their fanciest dresses and make-up in preparation for Benjamin’s appearance.

It was just embarrassing to watch Darrien and Rene doing the same.

I’m consistently amazed by the generosity of all of the actors, filmmakers, managers, producers, and other professionals who donate time from their schedules to spend with the next generation of filmmakers. We don’t pay them, they are already incredibly busy, and in most cases there isn’t even a public relations benefit… yet we never have a problem scheduling high-profile industry representatives every year. I think they enjoy helping the students as much as we do. I think the students remind them (and us) what it’s like when you’re just starting out, unjaded, and really love the movies. I’m grateful for that as well.

And speaking of students, I’d like to throw a special shout out to Ellery and Becca, the student workers who have been helping us research speaker bios, publicize round tables, meeting our guests, doing our laundry, and will be acting as our drug mules after the festival.

I’m just kidding!

We aren’t really making them do our laundry…

OK, I’ll admit it — every time a new Star Wars movie comes out I get on a soapbox.  I haven’t seen any of the new movies.  I don’t want to.  Strangely, no one really fights me on this.

So I was more than surprised on Sunday night when I got a little misty watching the red carpet arrivals for Episode III: Revenge of the Sith.  It was one of those rare moments where my jaded, sarcastic side left me as a full orchestra launched into the theme song from the film.   Even Darth’s heavy breathing was amplified throughout the Croisette.  I left cheesy cell phone messages for my friends as the big guy and a dozen-or-so Storm Troopers walked the red carpet.   

Granted we weren’t on the carpet ourselves — we were across the street high above it — but it was VERY cool.  It still won’t get me to see Episode III, but I did catch a showing of original recipe at the Cinema de Plage.  This beach screening was packed, loud, and subtitled in French.  What better Cannes experience could you ask for?

Guess it’ll be time to dig out my Death Star from the garage when I get back to LA.  Just please help me if anyone gets their hands on my dance recital photos where we performed with plastic light sabres.  Ah, the late Seventies…

We’ve reached the halfway point of the festival and I’ve learned one thing…I’m OLD. I’ve tossed out my Chuck Taylors for more comfortable tennis shoes. And I’m not fighting to get into tonight’s Star Wars premiere. It’s either that I’m old or I’ve become incredibly uncool. I’ll lose sleep tonight trying to decide which is worse.

Speaking of Star Wars, many of the cast were around town doing press today, including a freshly-bald Natalie Portman, who just lost her locks for a role in V for Vendetta. We’ll have some photos from the red carpet, or, um, from high above the red carpet for you tomorrow.

As for the last few days, we continue to have great industry round tables, including manager Brian Young from Untitled Entertainment, Asylum’s Rick Walker and entertainment attorney Greg Bernstein.

Women were everywhere today at the American Pavilion as Mr. Darcy (aka Colin Firth) dropped by for a Q&A about his film Where the Truth Lies. It was very entertaining to listen to people waiting in line debate the exact level of Firth’s "dreaminess." Even more entertaining was the photographer who became obsessed with Firth’s shoes.

We’ve hit a few parties, including last night’s yacht party for the Los Angeles Film Festival. Many of our students got into the MTV party last night, where random celebrity sightings including Eddie Izzard and Kid Rock.

I was home in bed by Midnight. Maybe I’m old AND uncool.

After the AFI party last night I came back to the American Pavilion to my enter my first post from Cannes.

Big mistake.

I had a cocktail (or seven) on an empty stomach (All of the food at the party was animal-based and I never eat anything with a face). It’s probably never a good idea to write anything that will be seen by other people while in an absinthe-induced haze but I did it anyway. Or so I thought…

I was very surprised to check the indieblog today and see that my entry was nowhere to be found. I’m positive that I pushed that "Post" button… but maybe not… My big fear (other than Scott being mad at me for not posting sooner) is that my drunken diatribe about rude French waiters has somehow been posted somewhere else… like an elementary school or the French Consulate.

Anyway, I’m completely sober now (unless Orangina has an ingredient I don’t know about), and just finished moderating a couple of Round Table Sessions with industry professionals. This morning Geoff Gilmore, Director of the Sundance Film Festival met with the American Pavilion students, and Rachel Blanchard, star of the new Atom Egoyan film "Where the Truth Lies," joined us this afternoon.

By the way, nothing makes me happier than being forced to publish a picture of my ever-increasing bald spot.

Yes. It is all about me.

O.K., this is going to be fairly quick, because I’m sitting on the beach, facing the Mediterranean, and this computer is losing juice by the second. 

Cannes is now fully underway – stars have come and gone (o.k., just Woody Allen and Scarlett Johannson so far, but more are coming).  Yesterday, we encountered Cuba Gooding, Jr. outside our apartment, just hanging out with a papparazzo attached.  The streets today have about 500% more people than they did when we arrived on Sunday.  Walking has become quite the obstacle course. 

And, throughout it all, SAGIndie is bringing the best of industryites (I hate that word) to the American Pavilion.  The highlight for the students, other than my attendance, is the amazing individuals that have agreed to take pitches from the students.  Not to really BUY the pitches, but to give students a chance to experience how to pitch and what to work on.  So far, Sherri Strain from The Asylum and Producer Robert Baruc have faced the students. Such vessels of knowledge as Geoffrey Gilmore, Director of the Sundance Film Festival, actor Colin Firth, and director Stephen Frears are coming up. 

We’re also arranging for a series of new generation actors to come and talk.  We’ll take some pictures and show you how SAGIndie rolls in France.  Stay tuned, more action to come. 

BTW, we’re headed to our first party tonight, so I’ll keep an eye out for drunk celebs.